Dealing with loss / my life story?

[phillipcurl]

A good friend of mine passed away yesterday, the 26th, from a motorcycle accident. I learned about it so suddenly, so it was very shocking. I knew about the accident, but the doctors said he was going to be OK. He was going to make a full recovery, they said. Ha.
Gus was a good man, he was a devout Christian, extremely gifted in playing the guitar and other instruments, and just an all around good person. I looked at him as an example, wondered how he always could be so happy. If there is an afterlife, a heaven, if you will - I know Gus will be there. I'm sure pretty much everyone reading this has lost a loved one, but if not, imagine you did. How would you deal with it? If you are christian, you may take solice in the belief you'll meet them again some day. But what if your not christian? Athiest, per haps. I know that Gus is no longer in pain, for a fact. This just got me thinking... anyone got thoughts or opinions on it? Please don't make this some psuedo-religious discussion, look at it from the perspective of an athiest.

In other news - who is interested, if anyone, in hearing my life story? Its got some interesting parts, like slaying dragons and sh!t. I've told parts of it, but never the whole thing. I assure you, you wouldn't be disappointed with it. Besides, i'm going through some hard times now, and I need to vent and get some help from my friends on here.

By the way, my post count is now 1337 or "leet". Just thought I'd point that random, useless bit of trivia out.

[HankSimon]

Sorry for your loss. You said it is clearly: "Gus was a good man."

I've lost many people from the time I was 6 yo, until very recently. People who were Christian, those who were not, and good people nonetheless. In all cases, I considered how they had touched me, changed me, become part of me, and perhaps how their dying left a gap. Eventually, the raw edges of the hole they had left smoothed over, didn't hurt as much. With some people, the healing was fairly quick, and with others it took a year or two, as various incidents reminded me of them. Sometimes, I wanted to crawl into my cocoon and let the world drift on by. But, eventually, I started shaving again , went grocery shopping, and rejoined the living. Each time, my mourning periods have been shorter, accepting the inevitable has been easier, and remembering and rejoicing life replacing thoughts of death.

The last bad passing, by coincidence, I got a new puppy. It's a bad thing to get a puppy, because they require so much time and trouble; but it's a great thing to get a puppy (especially, if you've had puppies before), because they are real, here and now, requiring so much time and thought. My puppy demanded attention, demanded play time, demanded meeting new people and other puppies [socialization], and it's hard to focus on mourning when you're being licked and nipped. But, when you're trapped in a cocoon, someone, even a puppy can help drag you back into life... which softens the memories, helps the healing, and honors the life that is now gone.

[Fluffy]

Phillip, I'm so sorry that happened.

On my dads side of the family, I lost both of my grandparents before I was born. On my mom's side, I lost my grandpa when I was 5. I lost my cousin when I was 3.

I lost my best friend in a shooting two years ago.. I also knew his dad very well who also died in that shooting. His name was ----- (hidden due to privacy of that family) and he was one of the nicest people I knew. And while dealing with all the above[much removed due to privacy ], I was dealing with self esteem issues and being bullied. I didn't have many friends either. I was bullied for most of my school life, I think all but a year. That same week, I lost my some pets. I lost my Aunts dog.. That doesn't sound like much but I visited him so much and he was deaf.

I want to explain so much more to you Phillip, but that's all I'm explaining to the public. Only a couple people on this forum know that about me, but now the forum knows my story.

EDIT: Much has been edited and/or removed due to privacy and other things. I hope you can understand.

Jake

[steingar]

I'd say bikes are dangerous, but I fly airplanes, and they're even worse. Might be a cliche, but as least the fellow died doing something he loved. My sister got ALS and died last month, at the end she could move two fingers. Bleech! I'd rater go in a bike crash.

Jake, sorry to hear you've had so much trouble at such a young age. If it makes you feel any better (or even if it doesn't) I myself was bullied mercilessly as a youngster, I think it's how I discovered my razor sharp wit, which can be both a blessing and a curse. Odds are it will make you both tougher and more resilient, good things to be.

The good thing about being older and dealing with things like this is you can drink bourbon. Lots of it. But loosing family and friends is a normal part of life and always has been. How you deal with it in part determines what kind of people you are.

[Justinorigami]

I am sorry for your loss Phillip.

Personally, if heaven provides comfort for people over the death of loved ones, that is great for them. That necessarily doesn't make it true of course. Anyhow, from the point of view of an Atheist it may sadden me to know that I will never see that person again, but I can get over it and move on with my life.
Hope this helps,
Justin

[the modern einstein]

Steingar, I don't think drinking would help in this situation, if you aren't being sarcastic about it.

[steingar]

Everyone needs to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink.



By Odin I wish that was original.

[steingar]

Oh, and the hits keep coming. Best pal's wife asked for divorce after 27 years of marriage. Convinced both to try some counseling. Worst summer in memory. I doubt it will get any better soon.

[Swapnil Das]

I'm so sorry for all your loss, Jake. According to my Dad's side, I lost my great-grandparents before I was born, and according to my Mom's side, I lost my grandpa an year ago, she's still a bit broke.

[steingar]

Oh, and what's better than having a visit from a cherished family member? Realizing said family member is suffering the familial curse, a wonderfully lethal neurodegenerative illness! Thank Odin for bourbon.