Joke : Monkey in the bar

[franz]

a young couple, claire and mister sawyer harry,
drive to the church, in a car; they want to marry.
for they don´t have the traffic in their head,
they are involved in a fatal accident: both are dead!

soon after that (it must have been about half past seven)
they are sitting at the pearly gates, to be processed into heaven;
while waiting (some hours later, it was ten minutes to eleven),
they begin to wonder: "could we possibly get married in heaven?"

and because none of them is very shy,
they ask st. peter - who shows up -, the gate-keeping-guy.

"it´s the first time anyone has asked. i don´t know.
but i will find out. please wait for me, i will go."

so they sat down and waited for an answer there;
they had to wait for months, harry and his claire.
while they waited, they discussed quietly, not loud:
"if our marriage in heaven is allowed,
should we get married? what with the eternal aspect of it all?
if it doesn´t work! are we stuck together forever?", they wondered in fall.

after yet another month st. peter returns and they hear him say:
"yes, you can get married in heaven. that is ok."

"great", says the couple, "but we were wondering right now,
if things don´t work out. can we get divorced somehow?"

st. peter, red-faced with anger, slams his clipboard onto the ground;

"what´s wrong?", the couple asks, looking frightened around.

"oh, come on!!", st. peter shouts (he is very good to hear),
"it took me three months to find a priest up here!
do you have any idea", he adresses mr. sawyer,
"how long it will take me to find a lawyer???"

[Rick2478]

nice one.

[origami93]

a man is mowing his lawn. his neighbor (a blonde) walks out of her house, checks her mail, and goes back into her house. 1 minute later, the blonde walks back out of her house, checks her mail, and goes back into her house. she keeps doing this for about 10 minutes. finally the man asks," why do you keep checking your mail?" the blonde replies,"my computer keeps telling me "you've got mail!".

[Turtle13oi]

great jokes. actuallly most the blonds in my school are genuses. the rest are now brunettes