The Adventures of Crumple-Man

Fraze · Post by **Fraze** » May 10th, 2007, 8:41 pm

Don't ask where this came from.
All right, you can ask, I suppose. I was just having a late breakfast at my university's student union. I was pondering the possibility of making a model of The Shrike from Dan Simmon's Hyperion series of books. (As a side note, if any of you know of such a model, I will be forever in your debt. If you know of diagrams for such a model, I will consent to be your slave for five years.)
I was thinking that Vincent Floderer would be the perfect person to fold such a model, given his penchant for models with numerous spikes, thorns, appendages, etc. Several mental quantum leaps later, I came up with this:

Mild-mannered Vincent Floderer is a well-known origamist, famous for his vividly life-like models. But few know that he is actually...
CRUMPLE MAAAAAAN, defender of paper, folding, and the purist way!

In Floderer's study
Hmm...it seems I need to add an extra pleat here...

Just then
Help me, Crumple Man! My collapse won't work!

Back at Floderer's study
What's that? An origamist is in trouble! This is a job for...
*dashes into closet and comes out several seconds later in a paper costume*
CRUMPLE MAN! Fold, fold, and awaaaay!

With his super creasing ability, Crumple Man valley-folds space-time and travels across the globe at super speed!
Citizen 1: Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird!
Citizen 2: It's a crane!
Citizen 3: No, it's Crumple Man!

Crumple Man arrives at the home of the distressed origamist.
CM: Never fear, good origamist! Crumple Man is here!
--HAHAHAHA! I've got you now, Crumple Man!
CM: Gasp! It's none other than my arch nemesis, Dr. Scissors!
Gasp! It's none other than Crumple Man's arch nemesis, Dr. Scissors!
DS: Yes, indeed, Crumple Man! You fell right into my trap. I knew you'd come if you thought some origamist needed you. Now, let me go on a long, self-congratulating speech about my great plan.
CM: You cannot win, Dr. Scissors. I have the power of purist on my side!
DS: Oh, but I've already won, Crumple Man! Just look out that window. Do you see that paper mill? I have placed bombs on the conveniently-located nearby dam. Unless you concede to my demands, I will set off the bombs, breaching the dam, flooding the mill, and ruining all the paper! That paper will be so soggy, not even the most determined wetfolder would want to touch it!
CM: Y-you fiend!
DS: However, if you concede to my demands, I will disarm the bombs and allow the paper mill to go unharmed.
Crumple Man faces a dire dilemma, indeed! Will this protector of paper, this paragon of purism, submit to Dr. Scissors' demands?
CM: And what are your demands, Dr. Scissors?
DS: Leave, Crumple Man. Leave and never return. I will become the leader of origamists, and paper shall be cut as much as needed!
CM: I--I see no choice. I must leave.
DS: I knew you would see reason, Crumple Man. I knew I would get you eventually! After all, scissors always beats paper! *Maniacal cackle*
But wait--Crumple Man has something up his folded paper sleeve! While Dr. Scissors enjoys his victorious maniacal cackle, Crumple Man reverse-folds Dr. Scissors' remote detonator straight from Dr. Scissors' hand, and into his own!
CM: Who's laughing now, Scissors?
DS: NO! That shouldn't have happened! It was a rock-solid plan!
CM: Scissors may beat paper, Dr. Scissors. But paper beats rock!
And so, after a quick battle that doesn't really need to be described here, Dr. Scissors is vanquished, and origamists around the globe are once again safe to fold freely.
DS: I'll get you next time, Crumple Man!

On the next episode of Crumple Man:
CM: Th-the destructive capabilities of the giant paper shredder are too great! I must call on the rest of the Origami League! Mr. Mountain! Valley Girl! Petalette! Come to my aid!

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Yeah...I know, I come up with some weird stuff. No offense is meant to any of you here who cut your models, of course. This is meant purely for amusement. I hope you all enjoy it!

And why, oh, WHY must I come up with things like this when I should be studying for my finals?

Post by **origami_8** » May 10th, 2007, 9:10 pm

I moved this topic to the Kitchen Sink.
Very strange!....maybe I will read the whole story at some time.

Perpetual_Odium · Post by **Perpetual_Odium** » May 10th, 2007, 9:25 pm

When is the graphic novel coming out?

aesthetistician · Post by **aesthetistician** » May 10th, 2007, 9:51 pm

It's so easy to recognise people with exams. That's some high-class work-avoidance you've got there.
I really should reread the Hyperion books, I just got the fourth one but found that after some four years I've forgotten almost all of the plot of the first three.

Fraze · Post by **Fraze** » May 11th, 2007, 5:23 pm

Perpetual_Odium wrote:When is the graphic novel coming out? :)

Hehe, I can't draw worth *insert witty comment here*
That's why I fold paper!

aesthetistician wrote:It's so easy to recognise people with exams. That's some high-class work-avoidance you've got there.
I really should reread the Hyperion books, I just got the fourth one but found that after some four years I've forgotten almost all of the plot of the first three.

Ohh, yeah. Get all your best ideas at the worst times, you know?
You should definitely re-read those books. I'm going through them all a second time, to see what I missed.

aesthetistician · Post by **aesthetistician** » May 11th, 2007, 5:52 pm

I wonder if anyone's ever made a graphic novel with photograps of origami instead of drawings? It would be so pretty! Insanely time-consuming, but who needs free time anyway?

I'll add them to the (ever-increasing) Things To Read After May 29th List. Not having time to read is one of the worst things about exams. Other worst things include the fact that I am in college and studying at six on a Friday evening

Fraze · Post by **Fraze** » May 11th, 2007, 8:00 pm

I'd imagine that using origami in a graphic novel would produce an effect similar to, say, sprite comics online. It would be difficult to empathize with the models as characters, since they would lack many of the human characteristics that we connect with most strongly (mainly faces).

Cupcake · Post by **Cupcake** » May 11th, 2007, 8:45 pm

CM: Cupcake Muffin?

Very interesting story... great job

aesthetistician · Post by **aesthetistician** » May 14th, 2007, 10:59 pm

It would certainly be very challenging to do a graphic novel that way, but I don't think it would be impossible. You'd have to convey almost all the mood through positioning and lighting. Most of the human figures in Neil Gaiman's The Kindly Ones (pulling an example out of my head at random) are extremely stylised and don't have much facial detail, but they're still very compelling characters.
I am suddenly afraid that I'll take this as a challenge to produce an origami graphic novel. Must...resist...urge...must...study...send help...

Fraze · Post by **Fraze** » May 16th, 2007, 7:55 pm

Cupcake wrote:CM: Cupcake Muffin? :lol:
Very interesting story... great job

Aww, hehe, well thank you! This is starting to get more curiosity than I thought it would. It was just a silly thing I typed up on a whim...
Maybe I really will have to make more.

aesthetistician wrote:It would certainly be very challenging to do a graphic novel that way, but I don't think it would be impossible. You'd have to convey almost all the mood through positioning and lighting. Most of the human figures in Neil Gaiman's The Kindly Ones (pulling an example out of my head at random) are extremely stylised and don't have much facial detail, but they're still very compelling characters.
I am suddenly afraid that I'll take this as a challenge to produce an origami graphic novel. Must...resist...urge...must...study...send help...

NOOOOoooooOOOOoo! You must resist! Do not be tempted by the Procrastination Side!