The Origami Forum

I thought I'd make my own gallery everyone else seems to have
and before sending stuff to the BOS I thought I'd get some constructive criticism

WOLF

Author: dragon man
Folder: dragon man

Sorry about the picture quality

Your wolf still needs a lot of work. The body is totally disproportionate. The legs are too close to the head and the upper half of the body should be bigger. I also think the hind legs should be longer. What other models do you have? It would be really weird if you only sent one model.

Sounds like somebody missed the word "constructive".

Uhhhh...buy a new camera!

Put it in a sitting, maybe howling position. You should be able to escape making most structural changes. I would definitely try to separate the front legs and the head though, or at least make the front legs longer.

Yes, I need to get a better camera.

You can't tell from the horrible picture

Sorry about the crappy pictures. My camera is very lousy.

critisizing my camera work Angrydemon
Thanks for your feedback its pretty bad it was just a prototype
The legs are really annoying me when i fold it normally there to long and when i shorten them thier to short

Good Start. I like the fluffy tail. The shape of the head and ears looks good. Store this model carefully as version one, so that you can compare progress.

I like the relative proportions of the head. Try to move the mouth so that you can see it from both sides (I can't see the lower jaw in the first picture, but I can see it in the second picture, pointing to the left.) I suggest leaving it that size, but increase the size of the body (rather than decrease the head).

I like the roundness of the copy paper model more than the flatness (?) of the gold foil, but I think you can mold the foil to give it more roundness.

You might fold the wolf from a much larger sheet and try adding some easy details. For example, you might pleat fold the bottom of the legs to give it some feet. (I'm sure we can find examples, if needed.)

Accentuate the elbow joints in all four legs to emphasize the angle.

If you can figure out how to shift the front legs back about a third or quarter of the way, then you might have some room to pleat fold a neck, so that the head is above the body, rather in a straight line.

Keep working on the representation and proportions until you're happy with it. Some designers can take a month or two before they are happy with their base model. Both Yoshizawa and Lang have reported that they kept tweaking models ... for 25 years. Most of the rest of us don't have that level of mastery....

Let us know when you've got version two done.


Thanx,
- Hank Simon

I don't think telling you to "buy a new camera" counts as criticism And my camera work has improved a lot since I first started!

ok i have designed an eagle but when i was diagramming it i used langs technique for getting the toes from his songbird in ODS. Should i mention that in the diagrams or not?

That's just a point-split. The technique's been around for a long time, and is very common in complex origami. For instance, look at pretty much anything complex by Marc Kirschenbaum, or as far back as John Montroll's book, Origami for the Enthusiast.

I like the wolf I think it is a really good start. You could even leave it like that as a simpler model and it would be fine. Not everything has to be perfectly proportionate- I've seen a lot that aren't. From first glance you can easily tell it's a wolf. And unfortunately not all of us can afford to get better cameras- or even a camera itself.

I agree, the wolf really does look like a wolf, albeit a bit disporportioned, but otherwise good. I like the head and the tail. I'd be interested to see you crimp the torso and reposition the legs and tail so it's sitting on its haunches, like it's howling to the moon. If you try that out, post some pics of it, even if it does't work out, I'm interested to see.

(oh and keep up the designing, its the only way to get better; thats what I'm trying to do )

Andrew

I forgot to mention, although this might just be the camera (foil is hard to photograph well) but it seems to me that it looks better out of kami than foil. You might also want to eventually try grafting on some toes, and maybe use that to absorb some paper from the torso to make it a bit shorter.

although this wolf is nice, here is are my points
for a wolf it's has a too thin body. try to shape it bigger.
try to get the frontlegs a little bit backwards to give the poor wolf a neck which you should slide up a bit.
somehow like this




nevertheless I like it